[ But the answer is never that simple, is it. Sure, Chizuru does mean what she's saying here. Despite the fact that she's still very much feeling upset, she read the other's answer seriously, actually listening to it.
But as she's thinking about it, one other thought comes to mind.
(Of course it does. This is Chizuru, after all.) ]
but does that mean i would have to stop caring about other people ?
[ Because she can't do that.
Even aside from whether it's possible, there's the matter of the very thought feeling so cruel to her. ]
And no, it does not mean you stop caring. It means you can care more effectively because the strong emotions that get in your way stop getting in your way. Caring isn't a cloud. It's the air or the ground you're on or something. IDK, the therapist isn't here to ask.
Pretty sure it's that kind of philosophical thing that's super complicated when you don't get it, but to the pros is super simple that finger moon shit I don't get
It's not an overnight thing. We're all prone to certain things. We can't always make them go away entirely. But we can manage them. Make them less bad.
[ Murderbot hates talking about emotions. It's not the one people go to about emotions. ]
Is there anything you usually do to feel less bad?
Because she's pretty sure it isn't going to accept 'working even harder at helping other people' as an answer here.. probably.. So Chizuru is looking for an alternative that's also true, even though it requires quite a bit more digging inside her own mind. ]
spending time with my friends usually makes me feel a little better
But at least she's pretty sure it wouldn't be offering if it truly minded it - which is why she's saying 'alright' first, instead of just asking whether it minds. ]
can i come by right now ?
[ She doesn't know if it was in the middle of something, after all..
And let's be real - Chizuru is the least likely person to ever expect anyone to drop everything for her. ]
I don't mind. I enjoy watching media. Watching it together reduces corruption, which makes it even better.
Yes now. I'm here. I'm... almost always here.
[ Murderbot's not in the middle of running an event or committed with time to another person, so that makes it a fine time. It could probably even work on its playlists for the Silent Disco in the background because it's used to multiple inputs, and that will help calm its nerves in case Chizuru brings up Jinx. Even the idea she might. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ But the answer is never that simple, is it. Sure, Chizuru does mean what she's saying here. Despite the fact that she's still very much feeling upset, she read the other's answer seriously, actually listening to it.
But as she's thinking about it, one other thought comes to mind.
(Of course it does. This is Chizuru, after all.) ]
but does that mean i would have to stop caring about other people
?
[ Because she can't do that.
Even aside from whether it's possible, there's the matter of the very thought feeling so cruel to her. ]
no subject
And no, it does not mean you stop caring. It means you can care more effectively because the strong emotions that get in your way stop getting in your way. Caring isn't a cloud. It's the air or the ground you're on or something. IDK, the therapist isn't here to ask.
no subject
but that all sounds very complicated
[ Especially to a girl who's never even got to touch the very idea of therapy before - thanks, time period and culture she came from.
To not even speak about Chizuru's own personal circumstances on top of it. ]
i am not sure i will be able to manage any of it
right now i just feel
[ There's a pause, like she's thinking of the right words, but then just settles on the very, very simple: ]
really bad
[ In a way that feels a little too overwhelming to immediately put these complicated new ideas into practice. ]
no subject
that finger moon shit I don't get
It's not an overnight thing.
We're all prone to certain things. We can't always make them go away entirely. But we can manage them. Make them less bad.
[ Murderbot hates talking about emotions. It's not the one people go to about emotions. ]
Is there anything you usually do to feel less bad?
no subject
Because she's pretty sure it isn't going to accept 'working even harder at helping other people' as an answer here.. probably.. So Chizuru is looking for an alternative that's also true, even though it requires quite a bit more digging inside her own mind. ]
spending time with my friends usually makes me feel a little better
[ There we go. Nailed it. ]
no subject
Okay, how about you come by the feed, and we can watch something you like.
no subject
if you are sure you do not mind
[ Sorry, she just.. can't help adding that part..
But at least she's pretty sure it wouldn't be offering if it truly minded it - which is why she's saying 'alright' first, instead of just asking whether it minds. ]
can i come by right now
?
[ She doesn't know if it was in the middle of something, after all..
And let's be real - Chizuru is the least likely person to ever expect anyone to drop everything for her. ]
no subject
Yes now. I'm here. I'm... almost always here.
[ Murderbot's not in the middle of running an event or committed with time to another person, so that makes it a fine time. It could probably even work on its playlists for the Silent Disco in the background because it's used to multiple inputs, and that will help calm its nerves in case Chizuru brings up Jinx. Even the idea she might. ]
no subject
[ It says it doesn't mind. And it's there already, so it's not like Chizuru would be making it come over there just for her..
.. even though she tries to justify it to herself, she still feels a little guilty. She just can't help it. But-- ]
i will be there soon then
[ She'll come over anyway. ]